you don't have to be beyond to do whatever the fuck you want

I've been listening to Grown Woman by Beyonce (which is a tune so go and listen to it.)

& I fucking love it. 

It makes me want to strut my stuff around London and be a boss.

We all need to find our inner Beyonce and stop being little bitches crying about dumb things that are irrelevant. 

Don't sit around being shitty go and fix it. 

I want

We say this all the time but what do we actually need?

Here's a list of things I want that I don't need...

- to sleep until 12 on weekdays. 

- a personal breakfast chef or a personal chef in general 

-  my dad back

- sun so I can justify spending money on summer clothes 

- to lose 89 stone. 

- to live and work in London

- to meet more people who are real as fuck and not pretending to be some dickhead they're not. 

 

Your fine as you are. Ill probably prefer you without this bullshit act you put on.

- to meet Jessie ware cus she is boomting

- to be able to bleach my hair without my hair dying 

- the girl opposite me's shoes. 

- Megan fox's bod but I love chips n dips and laying in bed in my pants too much to do anything about that

- for yolo to be a decent excuse to have done something ridiculous and then everyone would be like "yes that's a good reason to have done that, I support you with your decision"

- free food.

- free coffee

- free money

A lot of things I can't have. 

Things I Need

a nice place to sleep

money

people 

food

water

toilets

(coffee)

(my iphone)

gettin off on likes

It's been proven that the sound of your phone going off makes you happy.

I can relate to this it's quite sad, but I think people's happiness is fuelled by irrelevant things nowadays, such as Facebook likes, how many followers you have, how many people favourited your tweet about your new hair. 

Facebook likes or likes on any social networking platform are becoming a currency.

The number of people clicked like on your photo of you with a fuck load of make up on that took you 19 attempts to get the right angle doesn't make you any better of a person. 

People get upset that they didn't get enough likes and I've even heard of friends falling out because they didn't like a photo they posted.

WHAT?!

Surely friendship isn't based on whether they click a like button. 

It doesn't mean they give a shit.  

If Social media popularity is really important to you you need to reevaluate yourself and your life.

If that's what's important to you then I feel very sorry for you.

You should be focusing on how people perceive you in real life instead of online with all the filters that you can add to make your life look cooler than it actually is. 

People do things that they wouldn't do in real life online...e.g Facebook famous kids eating soap or doing the condom challenge . 

I watched one video of a kid doing the condom challenge and he said you can die from it.

Why would you do something that could potentially kill you just for popularity.

Are you dumb?

Yeah ok share fun stuff on Facebook but don't go begging for likes doing ridiculous things for attention. 

I think it's easy to get caught up in the stressful popularity contest fuelled world of Facebook, Instagram and twitter, were all guilty of it. 

But I feel quite sorry for 12-16 year olds having to grow up with all this pressure. Fuck that go back to making tree houses instead of statuses.

three's a crowd.

any of you who know me well enough know that my dad died 2 years ago.

this post isn't going to be a description about him or his illness it's going to be about the affects of him not being here. It's a big part of my day to day life, everyday I think about him and everything reminds me of him.

I don't think some people know what it's like to try and adjust to life without somebody who was a massive part of your life.

I'm sure anyone who's lost someone in their family will relate to this.

there's constant reminders of the gap that he's left.

every time I go to set the dinner table I have to remember there's only 3 of us now and I always feel shitty when I accidentally lay 4 places instead of 3. 

whenever I go to call my mum/my sister/ anyone with a surname with the letter 'W' I am reminded that I will never get to call him to tell him something funny or be silly. I can't bring myself to delete his number.

every time I go anywhere in Burnham and see one of his old friends or customers I always feel bad for reminding them of him.

seeing his old van driving around Eton makes my heart stop every time.

every time i hear a song that he used to like now makes me sad.

at birthday meals it never feels right.

threes a crowd nowadays, I feel that the balance is completely fucked. 

I hate it, not everything is peachy apart from Beyonce's bum.

I hate that everything's moved on and people are trying to fill that gap. no one will ever fill it. it's gonna be there forever and I'm going to have to get used to that.

WAKE THE FUCK UP.

I used to be the happiest person single day thinking nothing bad was ever going to happen and everything is dandy.

then some bullshit happened and slapped me across the face and woke me up from my dream world.

obviously that was a bit of a shock to realise bad things can happen to you ( s silly as it sounds.)

it changed my whole outlook on life, made me become a real fucking person.

I think that it takes something awful to make you grow and become a real person.

I'm not a pessimistic bitch but I don't think life's glorious and that I'm going to sail through life being happy as Larry because that doesn't happen unless your snorting some magical powder on the regs.

stop whining about little things.

I'm glad I got slapped across the face with reality otherwise I'd still be a little prick.

I can't be dealing with people who think everyone's great and that everyone likes them. no bitch, that's now how it works.

wake the fuck up.

why growing up sucks.

so I'm no longer a teenager, this means lots of things.

I can no longer threaten my mum that I'm going to call childline anymore.
shit starts getting real, I have to start being mature and responsible. that means thinking about my future. eurgh.


I'm currently considering dropping out of uni.

reasons why I'm considering dropping out of uni:

- my course is absolute cats piss
- my tutor is a chief bell end of the bell end crew 2k13.
- being poor is shit.
- Birmingham is a smelly place

I'm in two mind sets.

chilling out and having fun but wasting a year of my life and living away from home VS. working towards a career and having money to have fun with but moving home.

moving home with anus woman is going to be tough but not as tough as walking past shops and wanting delicious clothes.

being young is actually really tough, so much pressure is on your shoulders to perform well and get qualifications but I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO.

how the fuck am I gonna know what to do with my life at the age of 20.

shit this is stressful.

but I'm gonna just do whatever makes me happy. I recon I could work in McDonald's and be happy. just as long as I have the rest of my shit together and I'm not shooting up heroin on my lunch breaks and not sleeping in the staff toilets cus I haven't got a house.

bit extreme. but shit can get crazy.

I should really make the most of being able to lay in bed in my pants all day and sleeping till 4 in the afternoon whilst I can.

tough decisions.

help.

god n shit.

so on my commute to work everyday I walk past an 'advertisement' for Mormons.
first of all, why the fuck are they advertising religion on the London Underground.

I was thinking as I was going up the escalator how fucked up it is for people to still follow religions.
How have they not realised that god probably isn't real and it's a load of bullshit. I think people who believe in god are weird and disillusioned.
Be realistic, there's no man in the sky with a plan of your life who listens to your prayers n shit. if there is he's shit at his job.

Things just happen or don't happen, it's all just luck and good timing.
When you die you get buried in the ground or set on fire for your loved ones to keep your burnt body in a jar on the mantelpiece.

Personally I think people stick around as energy, I think the whole idea of 'pearly gates' and if your a heroin addict for your whole life then your going to a fiery pit of fire to hang out with the devil.
What the fuck, who the fuck thought of this shit.
Good on the guy who thought of religion, sick way to make sure people don't go around killing people.

To be fair, I don't like religion, do what you want, not what some make believe person wants, don't be a dick though.

Everyone should live by that motto, if your about to do something stop and think, will this make me a dick? will I look like a dick? Will that guy think I'm a dick?
I'm going to start thinking like this.
#dontbeadick